Dating Adventures: Don’t Call Me Baby

Dating Adventures: Don’t Call Me Baby

Don't Call Me Baby

Edited: Source

So online dating isn’t easy.  Clearly.  People get really bold and say things that they would NEVER EVER say in person.  I mean, at least I hope they wouldn’t say it in person.

I get some of the weirdest messages…as I am sure my friend Jennifer over at Single & Sweaty can attest to.  A lot of randomness…and a lot of inappropriateness.  Here are some REAL LIFE examples of things NOT to say when you send out your first message.

  1. “Hey Baby What’s Good?”

Ok so this whole thing is just wrong. First of all, don’t call me baby. We haven’t been dating for a while, I’m not the waitress that just filled up your coffee and my genes aren’t half yours. Secondly…what’s good? Let’s see…money is good…ice cream is great. What am I supposed to say to that?

  1. “Wanna meet up and play pool?”

Ok in theory this isn’t horrible…however…the idea that some random guy can email me and ask me to meet up with him, the complete stranger, is absurd. Would you just walk up to a lady in the supermarket and say “Let’s get married”. I kinda feel like we are on that same kind of time table. Let’s get to know each other a little bro…because let’s face it…if you are willing and able to just ask girls out at random…I don’t wanna be playing pool with you anyways.

  1. “Lemme holla at cha ass”

Stop…just don’t…ew. Hey, I don’t want to be “hollered” at…yes I said hollered. How about you ask me my name? And at my ass? I don’t want you speaking ANYTHING to my ass and I definitely don’t want you yelling at it. Pass.

  1. “Hey girl text me”

Excuse me? What makes you think I am going to give you my number? My ridiculously easy to remember phone number? The one that is so easy to remember that no one ever forgets it? No…and hey don’t call me girl…my freaking name is in my profile douche-bag.

And let’s take a little moment for a musical break…this is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE songs.  Don’t Call Me Baby by Madison Avenue.  I mean it’s old…but it’s a good one. Listen to the words…

I mean I get it…you probably send out like 10 messages and hope that one of us bites…but seriously don’t.  If you’re looking for another notch in your bedpost…it’s perfectly easy enough to take home the drunk ugly girl of the group and enjoy yourself there.  Why make all the effort in online dating? On second thought…bring it on weirdo…it gives us girls more to talk about!


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Just a 30 something southern girl living life as a “Fat Girl”. Learning to love and laugh more than ever and share the adventures that is her crazy existence! Blogging about dating, weight loss and acceptance, funny stories, quirky family, Greenville, SC and some fashion. Come hang out!

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11 comments on Dating Adventures: Don’t Call Me Baby

  1. Court Ney says:

    I know this is about how about how guys talk to us girl but I have to share this. So, I have tried the online dating thing. I have met some really great guys and some complete freaks. This one guy sent me a message and seemed normal. Looks wise definitely my type (covered in tattoos). Well we talked a few times, well one time he was like can I send you a pic. I responded sure but I don’t want to see a picture of your mushroom though. They all look the same you seen one you’ve seen them all. Well this freak sends me a picture of his nasty, hairy butt. So I replied hahaha and bless it he got offended. Don’t nobody want to see that. Sorry but your post just made me think of this.

    • Courtney says:

      Um ew…lol who wants to see that? I hear ya though…guys just automatically think it’s ok to send naked pictures…sometimes without even asking. Seriously…I don’t need to see all that! 🙂

  2. kim0712 says:

    holla at cha ass? Who says that? Really? But, since I read this and because I’m just stupidly curious, I looked online for some stupid pick lines. And now for your reading pleasure:

    Did you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you?
    Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
    My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.
    Girl, yuh look like a bottle a maple syrup….THICK
    Are you from the ghetto cause I’m about to ghetto hold of that ass

    and, drum roll please:

    The only thing I want between our relationship is latex

    And with that, I’m done here! 🙂

  3. I thank God pretty frequently that I didn’t have to date. I met my husband when I was a junior in high school. If anyone attempted to “holla” at me, I’d be hiding under my bed. That might also cause me to cancel my Internet service.

    • Courtney says:

      Joey it’s just insane. Dating is such a chore and online dating has really brought out the weirdos. There’s no mystery anymore. FYI, I think it’s pretty freaking awesome you married your high school sweetheart…Disney movies weren’t all lies. 🙂

  4. Megan Walker says:

    You take this so much better than I would, Courtney! I would be like, “who do you think I am….bro???” lol

    • Courtney says:

      Megan hunny just be glad you don’t have to deal with this mess. Lol it’s absolute ridiculousness. Lol I have so many stories…you would be shocked. At this point…it’s just funny and I have a disclaimer on my profiles now that say if you email me something “douchebaggy” it’s subject to be talked about on my blog. 🙂

  5. jaws4242 says:

    Oh wow! These are gems! I can’t believe there are people who use these lines! ‘holla at cha ass’ is my favorite! I am going to use that on my husband this morning…let’s see what happens…